In the past few weeks I have been in an emotional rut. My work life has plateaued. My personal life has been a bit lifeless since all the traveling magic. My romantic life is, well, what is that exactly? As I sit here listening to Italian opera, I've realized that I'm lacking some passion. Passion for my work, passion for my relationships, and even less for love. Truth time, I have been so critical of myself in every aspect of my life. So much so that I stopped taking care for myself. Rarely working out, telling myself that I will never be as happy, fit, successful or in love as I once was. I was telling myself lies. Psyching myself out is my super power. What's yours?
Now, it's time to do some exercises. Pull out a pen and paper if you're ready to figure out what the heck is wrong with you. First off, write your name and date at the top of the paper. Secondly, draw a heart or a star or a flower anywhere on that same piece of paper. Make a list of three of your most undesirable traits. Here's my list as an example...
1. Constantly too available
2. can be jealous of others and what they have in their lives
3. I've gained 8 pounds and has gone straight to the not so good places to have extra weight
Okay good, now beside each of these points you will write why these "undesirable" characteristics make you so damn great.
- being available allows me to make time for people who want to create a genuine human connection with me.
- I have high expectations for what I desire in my life and have great examples around me of what I should work towards.
- My body is beautiful and I enjoy great food and over those delicious meals I've had amazing conversations with amazing people.
It's time to love ourselves and be present in everything that we do. Release your tight grip on what you think you can control and change what you can. I've recently moved to a charming apartment with one of my best friends and our kick-ass roommate, I am starting back up at school in the fall to continue my path towards becoming a math teacher and I have promised myself to sit in the vulnerable spaces and grow in my art of dance. I have decided to make some more great changes in my life that are in the works, but for now that'll do. Normally, I bite off way too much than I can handle and I overwhelm myself and cue the psyching out. Not today mister!
As for love, I am trying to enjoy being single and exploring life as it is. My heart desires companionship, a partner to adventure along side of, another heart to beat with. To meet someone, to create a life with, to lean on one another and love each other unconditionally. That is something I cannot disregard, but instead I'm leaving it to God to work on me and shape me into the woman I need to be for the man He's preparing for me. That alone I trust. For now I will passionately love myself and find ways to fill my love tank. I am so Ready!
Here's to being all together awesome! Cheers!
Love,
Dezi
